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Maryn Liles Updated: Jun 16, 2023 iStock Nothing gets a good laugh better than a well-placed one-liner—and we could all use a little laughter. Enter these funny one-liners. These clever.
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The best jokes are those that don't take so much time to say. Short and sweet. The best one liners are those that say so much with just a simple line. You can get so many people laughing with just these short jokes. 1. Always borrow money from a pessimist. They'll never expect it back.
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Jokes 50 Fucked Up Jokes You Should Never Tell Your Easily Offended Friends By Juliet Lanka Updated October 9, 2020 God & Man These are some truly fucked up jokes. And if you want some more dark humor, check out our best dark jokes. 1. How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick. 2.
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Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. You'll always stay young if you live honestly, eat slowly, sleep sufficiently, work industriously, worship faithfully, and lie about your age. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
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Here at LaffGaff, we love funny one liner jokes. It's always amazing to us how so much wit and double meaning can be encapsulated in such short jokes. That though is the beauty of good one liners. As Wikipedia puts it " a good one liner is said to be pithy. " Below we've gathered together a collection of the most hilarious one liners we.
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Everyday Quirks One-Liners. "I mentioned to my wife that her eyebrow sketches were lofty. She raised an eyebrow.". "On my whiskey diet, I've misplaced a few days this week.". "Diving into a book on floating in space. I just can't set it aside!". "I don't grapple with madness; I relish its every tick.". "My bed's an.
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What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal? A polar bear. 5. Why can't you trust an atom? Because they make up literally everything. 6. Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight.
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Jesus on the cross.. After a brutal and tough day carrying the cross up Golgatha, the Romans nailed Jesus with no remorse to the heavy wooden structure. Golgatha was a grand hill, and as the cross was raised Jesus looked down upon all those gathered before him. He saw his wonderful mother Mary.
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Basically, due to being so short, these jokes are very universal and can be used in a variety of circumstances (appropriate ones, of course) and ways. #4. The problem isn't that obesity runs in your family. It's that no one runs in your family. Report.
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Here are 40 hilarious one-liner jokes guaranteed to put a smile on both of your faces. Funny One-Liner Jokes I asked the IT guy, "How do you make a Motherboard?" He said, "I tell her about my job." Why was Cinderella dropped from the soccer team? She kept running away from the ball. I wanted my kids to watch the orchestra, but I had to turn it off.
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One word: Comedy! In the words of famous pianist and conductor Victor Borge, "Laughter is the closest distance between two people.". If you have ever watched the way people's faces light up upon hearing a joke, then you'd know that Victor Borge was right. It's simple psychology.
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Insults one liners I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. One liner tags: insults 93.27 % / 2006 votes. Shock me, say something intelligent. One liner tags: insults, intelligence 91.39 % / 1805 votes. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
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Shutterstock Quick and Funny One-Liner Jokes: These are one-liners that will land every single time, giving you the laugh you're always looking for when around good friends and family. I went to buy some camo pants but couldn't find any. I used to have a handle on life, but then the handle broke.
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28. You know people don't like you when you get handed the camera for group photos. 29. My dad and Nemo have one thing in common. They can't be found. 30. I have a joke about trickle-down economics, but 99% of you won't get it. 31. I used to have a fish that could breakdance.
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Top dark humor jokes 1. What does my dad have in common with Nemo? They both can't be found. 2. It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
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1. I don't have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere. 2. The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies. They're always so twisted. 3. When we were kids, we used to be afraid.